Showing posts with label Funky Monkey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funky Monkey. Show all posts

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Smile For You














Smiling is infectious; you catch it like a the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin. When he smiled I realised I'd passed it on to him. I thought about that smile then I realised its worth, A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth. So if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected Let's start and epidemic quick, and get the world infected. Everyone needs a smile :DD

Britain English vs Malaysian English

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la.../Want meh?...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen, why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do...

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u

p/s: NO OFFENCE. Malaysian slang and accent, you cant help it sometimes but not all Malaysian speak like that.

Monday, 15 November 2010

冷笑话‏




1. 蚯蚓一家这天很无聊,小蚯蚓就把自己切成两段打羽毛球去了;
蚯蚓妈妈觉得这方法不错,就把自己切成四段打麻将去了;
蚯蚓爸爸想了想,就把自己切成了肉末。
蚯蚓妈妈哭着说:“你怎么这么傻?切这么碎会死 的!”
蚯蚓爸爸弱弱地说:“……突然想踢足球。”


2. 龟兔赛跑.....兔子很快跑到前面去了......
乌龟看到一只蜗牛爬得很慢很慢.....对他说:你上来,我背你吧.....然后......蜗牛就上来了......
过了一会....乌龟又看到一只蚂蚁....对他说:你也上来吧....于是蚂蚁也上来了。
蚂蚁上来以后......看到上面的蜗牛......对他说了句:你好!你们知道蜗牛说什么吗?
蜗牛说:你抓紧点,这乌龟好快.......


3. 五元钱被犯罪团伙绑架了,打电话给百元钞:“喂!
你儿子在这里,不想我们撕票就用自己来 换他!”
百元钞想了一下说:“撕吧,撕了你们连5块钱都没有了!”


4. 有一对男女正在吃晚餐,那个女生一直问那个男生:你爱不爱我?
男生看了女生一眼又继续吃晚餐。
女生很生气又再问了一次:你爱不爱我?
男生终于说:爱!
女生又问:那你要怎么证明?
忽然男生从口袋里拿了三十元出来,并问女生:你有没有十元?
生拿了十元给了男生......
男生就把四十元放在桌上,过了一会儿.....
女生很生气的问男生:你到底要不要证明你爱我啊!
男生说:我己经证明了啊!四十摆在眼前!


5. 有一天,一家失火了,爸爸妈妈都逃出来了,
只剩下一个儿子还在里面。妈妈很紧张的在屋 外大喊:
“儿子.....你在干吗......都失火了还不出来......”
儿子回答:“我在穿袜子阿.....”
妈妈又说,“都失火了还穿什么袜子....”
过了五分钟,儿子还没出来......
妈妈又紧张的喊,“儿子,你到底在干什么?
快出来~都失火了,还待在里面.....”
儿子说,“我在脱袜子阿........”


6. 有个人到河边钓鱼,先穿了个树叶~半天没鱼上钩,
他又换了块面包~一样半天没鱼上钩~
没办法他只好去换蚯蚓~一样还是半天没鱼上钩~~
他气愤之下掏一张百元大炒扔入水中大骂:
“他*的,要吃什么!自己去买!”


7. “我看不清太远的东西,”病人对眼科医生说。
“请跟我来,”医生把病人带到外面,用手指着天上的太阳,问道,“你看那是什么?”
“太阳。”病人回答。
“那你还想看多远!”

8. 有一天动物们在关公庙前面闻到很臭的味道。
蛇说:我这么小不会放这么臭的屁,一定是牛。
牛说:我是吃草的不会放这么臭的屁
猪说:放屁的人一定会脸红。
忽然关公冲了出来,把猪打飞说:说了多少次了,我脸红是天生的。


9. 有个人一天碰到上帝,上帝突然大发善心打算给那人一个愿望......
上帝问,你有什么愿望吗?那个人想了想,听说猫都有9条命,那请您赐给我9条命吧。
上帝说:好,你的愿望实现咯。
一天,那个人闲来无聊,如说去死一死算了,反正有9条命嘛,就躺在铁轨上......
结果一辆火车开过去.....那人还是死了,这是为什么呢?因为那列火车的车厢有10节。


10. 一天,殡仪馆送来了三个人,说也奇怪,他们死后的笑容都是^_^......
殡仪馆管理员很纳闷的问警察:为什么他们死后的脸竟然会是^_^呢?
警察说:这.....说来话长.....你看左边那个人,他是跟她老婆在共度春宵时.....
在最激情的那一 刻,受不了,挂了。
管理员就回答说:唉.....人在花下死,做鬼也风流。那中间那一个是怎么死的?
警察:中间那一个喔,他呀,真是人间惨剧,他走在路上,忽然听见自己中了头彩,
奖金7亿 多......他开心的哈哈大笑时,却被迎面而来的车给撞上了,结果,挂了。
管理员回答说:唉,他真的是没有福气享受这荣华富贵的后半辈子。那剩下的这一个呢?
警察:这一个死的就有点可怜了,他是爬上树的时候被雷给劈死的。
管理员回答说:这就有点不对了,被雷劈到为什么还会笑呢....
警察说:因为他爬上树后,突然一道闪电...... 他以为......有人给他拍照......

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Women In Uniforms


Russian Army

Indian Army

US Army

Korean Army
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Finally,
the Pakistan Army




Clever Packaging